In this raw and unflinching conversation, Victoria G exposes the dark realities of her decade-long immersion in gender ideology and the BDSM scene, culminating in her eventual detransition. Drawing from harrowing firsthand experience, Victoria delivers crucial insights on the dangerous intersection between trans identities and the fetish scene, the systematic exploitation of vulnerable individuals, and a manipulative phenomenon she calls “empathy hijacking” – where predatory men present as victims to weaponize others’ compassion. With brutal honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Victoria articulates how abusive experiences fueled her trans identity and shares her journey of reclaiming her authentic self after escaping environments that nearly destroyed her.
Content Warning
This episode contains discussions of sexual abuse, rape, and other forms of violence. Listener discretion is advised.
A Decade in Gender Ideology
Victoria identified as transgender for about 10 years, progressing from “gender fluid” to non-binary, then trans masculine. When medical gatekeeping prevented her from accessing official gender clinics, she turned to dangerous DIY hormone treatments found in online communities. These “homebrewing” communities encourage people to create their own endocrine-disrupting compounds and hormone treatments without medical supervision.
The consequences for Victoria were severe – she developed stage 3 polycystic ovarian syndrome, osteoarthritis, and numerous other medical conditions that now require her to take approximately 50 pills daily plus hormone replacement therapy. She warns that tens of thousands of people participate in these online communities, making their own creams and pills at home without understanding the potentially devastating health impacts.
The BDSM Scene and Predatory Behavior
Victoria explains how alternative scenes like goth subculture often function as entry points to the fetish community. While she has no issue with self-expression, she describes how vulnerable people are gradually introduced to these environments through casual invitations from new acquaintances.
She notes that safety standards in BDSM communities have deteriorated dramatically since 2010. Former codes of conduct – avoiding scenes while intoxicated, checking in with participants who appear to be dissociating, providing aftercare – have largely disappeared in favor of increasingly dangerous and exploitative practices.
Although BDSM is theoretically unlawful in the UK under various assault laws (Consent to serious harm is not a defense and marks beyond “transient or trifling” are considered ABH), police rarely prosecute these activities. Victoria notes that authorities have been “kinkwashed” into accepting dubious consent frameworks, with some officers even frequenting these scenes themselves.
Stella references the Graham Dwyer case in Ireland, where an architect murdered a vulnerable woman in a BDSM-related killing that exposed the dangers of “consent” culture.
Autism, Vulnerability, and Exploitation
Victoria observes a disproportionate representation of autistic individuals in both trans and BDSM communities. She describes how predatory men target these vulnerable individuals, especially autistic women who are unfamiliar with these environments.
She connects this vulnerability to Simon Baron-Cohen’s brain masculinization hypothesis, which suggests links between autism and certain sex-typical neurological traits. Research from Cambridge University has found that males and females with autism often show extreme expressions of typical male cognitive patterns.
Victoria also notes significant differences in how paraphilias manifest between sexes – male versions typically involve aggressive actions toward others, while female paraphilias often relate to sensory experiences.
“Empathy Hijacking” and Ideological Capture
One of Victoria’s most significant contributions is her concept of “empathy hijacking,” explaining how predatory individuals manipulate others. Rather than weaponizing empathy, these individuals present themselves as weak, vulnerable victims to trigger protective responses in women.
This manipulation creates what Victoria calls a “firewall of pseudo-reason” – when someone has been emotionally drawn into a belief, they deploy their intellect not to evaluate it critically but to defend it from challenge. This pattern applies beyond gender ideology to multiple belief systems, including radical Islamism and relationships with psychopaths.
Kink Contagion and “Comp Bi”
Victoria describes kinks as “memes” – socially transmitted ideas reinforced through basic Pavlovian conditioning. During sexual arousal or at the point of orgasm, introduced stimuli can become linked to sexual response, creating arousal patterns that might never have developed otherwise.
She introduces the concept of “comp bi” (compulsory bisexuality) in the fetish scene, paralleling “comp het” (compulsive heterosexuality) in lesbian discourse. Women in BDSM spaces face intense pressure to be bisexual, as they can serve as “bait” for predatory men seeking to lure other women.
The neurological consequences of sadomasochism are documented in research like “Hooked Up and Tied Down: The Neurological Consequences of Sadomasochism,” which Victoria references to explain the harmful mental impacts of these practices.
The Parietal Lobe Theory and Body Dysphoria
Victoria presents a fascinating biological theory about gender dysphoria that she believes has been overlooked – the potential role of parietal lobe dysfunction in various body-related disorders. This brain region is responsible for how we perceive and relate to our bodies.
She points to research connecting this brain region to multiple conditions:
- Limb apraxia (movement disorders)
- Phantom limb syndrome
- Xenomelia (urges to remove healthy limbs)
- Eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia
- Various bodily integrity disorders
For those interested in understanding the parietal lobe better, Victoria recommends resources from Science Direct and the Cleveland Clinic.
Breaking Free Through Trauma
Victoria’s detransition was triggered by a traumatic experience – being publicly raped by a trans-identified male who, while claiming womanhood, exhibited predatory male behavior. This stark disconnect between claimed identity and actual behavior forced Victoria to confront reality and ultimately led to her detransition.
Aesthetic Freedom vs. Gender Conservatism
Victoria, known for her colorful appearance, warns against both aesthetic policing from feminists who consider all bodily adornment patriarchal and rigid gender conservatism that reinforces strict appearance norms based on sex.
She argues that enforcing rigid gender norms creates conditions for “trans 2.0” – gender non-conforming individuals feeling they must transition because they don’t fit into narrowly defined categories of appearance and behavior.
The State of Detransition Support
Victoria laments the complete lack of healthcare frameworks for detransitioners. The NHS provides no specialized support, leaving these individuals to navigate complex medical issues largely on their own.
She also identifies concerning patterns in detransition communities, noting that some detransitioners have “swapped one cult for another” rather than developing critical thinking skills about all ideologies.
The Path Forward
Victoria advocates for finding what she calls “nodes of predation” – understanding how predatory behaviors operate and connect across communities. She believes a civil society depends on our ability to “tolerate and accept benevolent difference” while protecting vulnerable individuals from exploitation.
Women Create and Ongoing Advocacy
Victoria is founding the world’s first conference for cancelled female and feminist artists from across the political spectrum, including detransitioners. Women Create will take place May 30-31, 2025 in London. After being “cancelled pretty much everywhere,” Victoria welcomes support for this initiative. Tickets are available through Eventbrite and updates can be followed on Twitter/X.
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